NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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