I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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