Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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