How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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