last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
