He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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