Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
