Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
