Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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