Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
