I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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