I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Randomize
