i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
