Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
