I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
