I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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