So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
