Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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