ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
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And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
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apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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