shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I see more hoeing in ur future
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
