You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Panties = found
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
