My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
