Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Pooping to opera.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
