Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
