You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
