she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
