and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize