before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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