it's too hot outside to masturbate.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
