so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
We are all done wearing pants today
as a side note pls kill me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
