WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
