with your own penis?
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
