whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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