He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
