i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
