I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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