I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
