It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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