you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
