It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
