You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
