I puked a lego.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
