i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
