I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
