I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Slut skills are useful in every country.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
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and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
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Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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