I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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