I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I met the friendliest cop last night
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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