She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
