i just had sex bonerless
She announced her abortion via fbk
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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