i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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