Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
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I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
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Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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