remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
