i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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