i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i dont even know how to be here
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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