Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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