Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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