So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
