You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
