you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
