pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
