He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
