So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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