is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
