I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
