i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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