STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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