Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
