Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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