Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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