U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
jump out the window naked night went bad
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