Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
